Dad: Here’s $1, take your sister too.
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
im blowing up a rubber chicken
why the heck hasn’t anyone said i’m blowing a cock yet
men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day
OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT
AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM
BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE
THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS”
I’M NOT EVEN JOKING
im sorry if ive ever told you the same story twice its just that i dont have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me
to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names
if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
Michelle Obama is like the political version of Beyonce